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Dear Fruitman... - The Atari Times

Dear Fruitman...

Should you sell your game system?
by Fruitman

June 14, 2001
I'm going to sell my Jaguar so I can buy a new game system. Which game system should I buy? Dreamcast, PlayStation2, GameCube, or Xbox?



Dear Gamer,

And you call yourself a "Gamer?!" REAL gamers know that it would be foolish to sell an Atari Jaguar. REAL gamers don't sell them to move on to another one. REAL gamers have sense enough to horde as many games as they possibly can for Atari systems.

I can't think of single good reason to sell a Jaguar (aka, the greatest game system of all time(tm).) How much do you think you'd get for it? 40 dollars, maybe? And the games would sell for $5 apiece? So, if you have 10 games, you'd sell the whole deal for $90? Shoot, you can't even buy a Dreamcast and a single game for $90! And the games even suck when compared to the Jaguar!

Let's face the facts: There is no game console that has a greater dollar per fun value as the Jaguar. None of the systems you mentioned have anything even remotely as exciting as the game lineup for the Jaguar. But, if you're strapped for cash, here are some tips for you so you don't have to sell the greatest game system of all time(tm):

  1. Get a job. I know for a fact that if you get off of your lazy tush, you can get paid $20 a week for mowing lawns.

  2. Sell another game system. You know that piece of junk N64 sitting in front of your TV? I think you can get some money for by selling it at a pawn shop for $5 or $10.

  3. Sell your clothes. Albert Einstein wore the same clothes day in and day out. Are you saying that you're smarter than him because you have a closet full of clothes?

  4. Get rid of your pet. You know that cat that's been eating you out of house and home? You can save a ton of cash on cat food, not to mention cat liter.

  5. Stop eating out. You don't need a social life. If you only eat at home and only buy the generic stuff, you'll be saving money like crazy.

This is just to get you started. There are dozens of ways to make or save money without having to sell your Jaguar. Besides, do you know how sad your Jaguar would be without you to play with it? And think of this: Maybe the next owner would abuse your Jaguar and break it! Would you want to live with that on your conscience? That out of the 150,000 Jaguars sold, you're the reason that the number has been reduced by 1?

And what would you do with all this money you've saved or earned anyway? Buy an Xbox? The games are a total joke! Or a PS2? Don't bother, unless you want to damage your DVD collection. How about a GameCube? Only if you like endless, cookie-cutter, Pokemon and Mario games. When will Nintendo grow the hell up?

Bottom line: Keep your Jaguar and spend the money you've saved on a new Atari game. I'll even let you buy one for the Lynx, the greatest portable game system of all time(tm).

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